One could say that in counselling, the core experience of the client is that of being listened to. Properly. In a social context, people often interrupt each other; a train of thought is not followed through because distractions and diversions arise. Some people seem incapable of listening to others, and constantly want to draw attention back to themselves. Socially, most people will operate a degree of self-censorship for fear of being judged or rejected.
So the focused listening, or attention, of a therapist may be an unusual and possibly healing experience in itself. Add to that the often-mentioned advantage that the therapist is not directly involved in the client’s life, does not need to be taken care of, and offers a safe and accepting environment, then a client may be able to reach into their material more deeply. An effect of this, not always perceptible to someone new to the process, is crucially that the client starts to listen to themselves.
Sometimes this can have the result of solidifying an experience or feeling. For example, a client hearing themselves week after week, recounting a painful experience, may finally hear themselves, notice the pain they are enduring and decide to take a different course of action. If they hadn’t heard themselves with this clarity then they might continue to repeat the painful scenario.
Sometimes the externalisation of inner experience can turn up surprises. In speaking and being heard, a client may see themselves in a new light. They may sink into their experience more deeply and find new and unexpected material lying therein.
This sense of being listened to can also allow people to become less entrenched in a position. Once they have given voice to their top-line thoughts and feelings, they may then be able to access a less conscious, perhaps more suppressed viewpoint which challenges their dominant, and more known, position. This can be a very healing and growthful place for clients.
One of the gifts of the therapist is that they listen in to what is not being said, or become drawn to places that the client may have glossed over. This gentle reorientation can genuinely offer a client new perspectives or a deeper understanding.