Therapy is about change. What generally motivates people to come to the consulting room is that they are unhappy, anxious, in pain. Their life is in a place that is not working for them and they do not know how to improve their situation. People often speak of feeling stuck or hopeless. They have tried to make changes but nothing has worked. Often patterns of behaviour (as well as patterns of thinking and feeling) have developed over a long period of time, some of which may be outside of the client’s awareness.
By having the space to talk through or map their subjective experience, clients build up a clearer picture of how and what they are doing, some of which may be directly contributing to the painful, stuck place they are in. With this awareness they are then in a position to decide to do things differently, to change the pattern. This often looks like a re-resourcing of the client. They feel they have more options available to them, and can even, for example, find that new words are coming out of their mouths which take them in a new and unexpected direction. This kind of fluidity, feeling the possibility of not being stuck and the hope that one day life will be different and that they will be happier is very energising. A glimmer of hope can create momentum for further change to happen.
Debilitating depression and anxiety paint pictures of an impoverished life of no hope. When this is overly dominant the client may need the experience of the therapist to carry the possibility of things being different and ask the client to trust them on this. This is where relationship is so key; if the client experiences that the therapist has really heard them and engaged with their pain, this can be the motivation to be open to change.