I see a lot of people in my practice who are in the active phase of parenting young children. This is not an easy time. Tiredness is ever present, and the lack of time and space to process your own experience is a challenge. People say that coming to parenting later in life is in some ways harder; perhaps having less energy than in more youthful years, and the adjustment of having had your own independent life taken away and being replaced with the relentless care needed by young children is not easy.
The possibilities for feeling that you have got it wrong or should have done better are endless with the task of parenting. We are all too aware of how problems in childhood are linked to difficult teenager years, and potential anxiety and depression in adulthood. The thought that as a parent the ‘mistakes’ you make could be creating the seeds of such unhappiness is intolerable. Much harder to step back and congratulate yourself on what is going well, and counter the fear by accepting that you won’t get it all right but it will be good enough.
Coming to therapy at this time might feel a bit self-indulgent and perhaps not the best use of limited time and resources. However, the opportunity to step back for an hour a week and have focused attention on yourself, can provide space to think about how you are with parenting, how you are with yourself, and offer possibilities for reflection and change. It is very tempting to think that giving more and more to others is the way through difficult situations. Sometimes the person you need to give more to is yourself.